Self-pebbling as an act of hope
Sometimes the algorithm gods can be benevolent, and so it was that some time last year I was first introduced to the concept of pebbling — “the act of offering small, meaningful objects or gestures to establish social bonds” (Wikipedia), such as the sending of unprovoked memes to friends. I have become a reasonably regular if somewhat random pebbler.
And if there was ever a time to do whatever you can to build human bonding, emotional connection, and community, it’s now.
But as I was recently adding yet another pre-order for an upcoming new release book to my account at Audreys Books, I realized that what in fact I was doing was pebbling myself. Each pre-order was me handing a little pebble to myself, and to my future self, telling myself “hey, I’m thinking of you” the same way I do when I send a friend a funny meme or video clip.
As of the time of posting, I have at least one pre-order due to arrive per month through to April 2026.
And I am… let’s call it ‘re-pebbled’… every time I’m in for a shift. At some point during every shift I will pop into the system and pull up my order list, like opening up my own special drawer of pebbles, all shiny and pretty and reminding me of good things to come, and that someone — me! — thought to gift me with each one.
Then as a bonus pebble… or re-re-pebble?… every once in a while when I open the drawer, the status will have shifted on one of the pebbles, from BNYP or “Back ordered / Not Yet Published” to PEND for “Pending,” which means the order is being processed… or sometimes even right to SHIP for, you guess it, “Shipped”! Not sure how best to extend the metaphor even further, but is that a pebble re-pebbling about a future pebble and then the actual future pebble arriving as yet another pebble?
But even if the drawer remains unchanged, it’s still multiple smiles while the pebbles that are there remind me that “Oh yeah! Tom Gauld’s Physics for Cats is coming out in October!” Or Brigands and Breadknives by Travis Baldree – book three in the Legends & Lattes series! — in November! Or coming next April, William Shakespeare's Star Wars: The Mandalorian by Ian Doescher!
It’s a nice feeling to know that past me cared enough about future me that present me gets to feel that love too.
Now I’m not sure if other things that I have in my life that are future things, things that I am looking forward to but that I haven’t necessarily placed quite so deliberately into my own timeline, count quite in the same way a self-pebble. Things like going to the When Words Collide festival this August. My choir singing in The Music of Star Wars concert with the Edmonton Symphony Orchestra in October. And looking ahead to next June, the return of the Alberta Circus Arts Festival. These are all things that also give me hope for the future, things to aim for and work towards, reasons to keep fighting the good fight.
But there’s something strangely special about these pre-orders for books… each one a metaphorical pebble gifted to my future self. Present me is thinking about you, my future self, grateful that you will be there and thinking you are deserving of good things.
I think I’m going to try and find other ways to self-pebble, that maybe don’t even need to be to my future self. What else might I offer myself as an occasional small meaningful object or gesture? A word of encouragement? An act of kindness?
And what might you to you?
— Winston
